Wednesday, April 29, 2015

the trip we dont like to talk about

On my 21st birthday my friends and I were in KC pretty wasted and one of my friends decided to hit this random guy up o twitter. After a couple of weeks she decided she wants to go up to kc to meet him. Im like sure ill tag along because I don’t want you to get kidnapped rapped and killed by this random stranger you met online and plus im always up for a good time. So we pack up her car with a nights change of clothes and head up north. The trip was uneventful except for the AMAZING pizza I got at  trk stop about and hour from spfld. I will still say that that pizza is top 5 best slices ive had in my life. AND IT WAS FROM A TRK STOP!!! Any who we arrive in kc and try to find our hotel. We know its in overland park so were thinking it has to be nice right? Uh no. the room smelled weird, we weren’t sure if the sheets had been changed and it seemed like the whole entire bathrrom was the shower. Maybe it was some type of handicapped thing but it greatly annoyed us. We got in town kinda late so we just waited for her boothang and his friend to arrive at the room and we started getting ready for the night. I wore some short little skirt and a crop  top becuae it was summer and im young. Idk remember what raechel was wearing probably something of the same fashion. After our makeup was just right and we had snapped just enough pictures for the gram, we piled into his infiniti. I was sipping on a colt blast because that’s what I had bought on the trip and I wasn’t really trying to buy drinks in the bar. If anyone has drank a blast they know that really it only takes like half of a can to get you right. By the time we had pulled up to the club the whole can was gone, I was sharing with raechel of course buuut I drank most of it myself. We walk into the club and its nothing that I had expected. There are girls in cut off shorts and wife beater, and sneakers. Im sure Raechel and I were the only females in the club actually dressed like we were going to a bar. So we realize that we are the hottest things in the room and we were going to act like it. Since I was already pretty wasted I forgot about my plan of not buying drinks at the bar and bught a round of shots for raechel and I and a couple of drinks. We take our drinks to the dance floor and look around for prospects. Yes raechel came up here to visit a man but Jasmine on the other hand came solo dolo. Raechels dude was trun





. I’m like sure I’ll tag along because I don’t want you to get kidnapped raped and killed by this random stranger you met online and plus I’m always up for a good time.

I dint want raechel to get kidnapped because I love her and shes my best friend. Meeting people on line is something that people in our generation see as a way our of pur comfort zone and a new way to meet people who must have a greater life than us. Also people online can be who ever they want to be . I love watching catfhis because its amazing to see how far people will go just to have someone that they are comfortable with stick around. My mom watches a lot of showas that focus on young girls or just women in genersl getting kidnapped when they are not paying attention to their surrounds or when they are in unfamiliar places. She’s always a nervous wreck when it comes to me leaving town an.when I was in panama city beach she made me call her everyday a just to make sure I was stil;l alive, I was like how about this, ill just send youi a picture everyday to have even more proof, as the week ewent on the pictures got progressively drunker uuntill the very last day I got my belly button pierced and I sent her a picture where im kinda leaning back im lifting my shirt up and sticking my tounge out, she kiew at that point I was hammered. She text me back like jasmine whey would you do that? CAUSE IM YOUNG WILD AND FREE MOM!!!!! Duh.anywhoe eone of the nights I was on the phone with my mom and these guys invited khan and I up to their room. I told her I might go up there so id just call her tomorrow when I had some time. She called me at the butt crack of dawn the next day just “seeing what I was up too” uuhhhh I was SLEEP!!! She secretly was just calling to make syure that the guys that had invited us up to their room hadn’t killed me. Shes so freaking paranoid I sweaaaar. I told her she need not worry about someone taking me because I guarantee that swho ever it is will bring me back with the quickness.. sometimes when  my mom gets on a snapped binge. The show where the women kill their boyfriends or husbands for all their money my step dad jokes that my mom is getting the recipe for how to kill him and run off with all the indurance money. I know that my mom would never do that but I wonder why she watches those shows religiously, probably the same reason why I can sit and watch law and order svu for hours on end. Even thought most of the thing they talk about on that show are incredibly depressing I its so intruiging it nthe same light.





Death scares me. It scares me the most out of anything. The fact that one day I’m going to wake up and mother isn’t going to be roaming this earth on her own accord almost brings me to my knees. That one day I won’t be able to hear victor tease me about something that I’m so self-conscience about but he’s only doing it to make me stronger is unbearable. Most of all one day I won’t be here anymore is what’s the most earthshattering. Earth does not revolve around me, but I feel like I’m a pretty big deal. There are tons of people who love me and a couple that don’t but it’s all fandom to me, but the fact that I won’t be around to continue to entertain the people that are closest to me freaks me out. The dark scares me also, that’s where evil lurks and you never know what’s around the next corner. I think that both of these fears concede for me because I feel like once you die it’s just darkness. I believe in heaven and hell but I think that there is a split second where your soul is concise of what’s going on and it realizes that there is no more breaths in your body to take, not another pump of your heart to circulate blood through. And that’s where the darkness comes in, your life doesn’t flash before your eyes, I think that is all bullshit. Life is way too long to have EVERY SINGLE thing to flash before you die. I think right after you dies is when you find out why you were even put here in the first place. One of my irrational fears is that I will die alone. That I will never find anyone who wants to wake up to me day in and out for the next 30 years. That when I’m 70 and retired all I will have is a bunch of clothes and war stories about my nights on the town looking for that special one. I know that I’m cute and that I have an amazing personality but everyone has their flaws and sometimes I think that they over power what I’m actually bringing to the table. I told myself that this year, 2015 I would focus on bringing myself to the next phase in my life and focus solely on that. That I won’t worry about who I’m going to end up with or what that person is doing at this very second right now. Like how crazy is it to think about the person that you are going to marry and start a family with and build an complete empire with is just having his very own boring Monday morning.




The dark scares me also, that’s where evil lurks and you never know what’s around the next corner..

When I was younger my mom used to always scare me. This makes her sound like a horrible mother but I promise she’s not, she just enjoys scaring people. I would like to say that this is the reason I’m so afraid of like everything. My brother used to be afraid of a lot of things to but now that he’s hit puberty he tries to act like hes a man and isn’t Afraid  of anything. Which is a lie but whatever. One night Victor asked Jarron to take out the trash and he didn’t really want to do it because it was dark outside. Victor made him take it out anyway and when jarron came back in he said “if your so scared you shouldn’t be so bad” and that has always stuck with me. I don’t think that im a bad person but I definitely do things that I shouldn’t do. And I wonder if that’s the reason im really so scared all the time. If its not because my mother used to scare me every chance she got.  I cant watch scary movies about sprits taking over people or taking over their houses and stuff cause I feel like the spirit can come through the tv and get into you and yes I do know how ridiculous that sounds but I grew up in a Christian house hold and I know that sprits and entity and things like that do exist. My roommate love paranormal things and I always have to tell her to count my ass out. I cant tell you how many times I’ve gotten tricked into going to the albino farm on the freaking north side messing around with her.


I cant tell you how many times I’ve gotten tricked into going to the albino farm on the freaking north side messing around with her.
 I don’t even know the real story on why that part of town is haunted but Renata read all up on it and how your supposed to put your car in nututral and say all this stuff and the sprits are supposed to push your car off the brige back onto the road or some shit like that. Doing all that stuff is exactly the same to me as going in a crip neighborhood in all red and yelling soowhop. Like who wants to mess with the dead?! THEY ARE DEAD!!! And haven’t ‘crossed over’ for some reason and im assuming that if I was dead and I haven’t crossed over in 50 something years id be pretty pissed off. I mean that’s just me. Like who wants to be stuck somewhere where no one can see you, you don’t have friends, you can’t eat. Idk it just sounds so dumb to me. My idea of fun is a large peperoni pizza and a couple of tequila shots. I want to go visit some of the historic land marks and places of the civil right movement and maybe some checkpoints or stops of the underground railroad but I know that savannah GA a lot of that stuff is haunted and I REFUSE to stay in a place that is haunted. I don’t think I would be able to get a wink of sleep if that was the case. Seeing Selma this weekend makes me want to visit those places even more now. That movie was so incredibly deep and factual about how my people were treated just because they wanted to obtain the rights that every other American had and what they deserved. I would love to see the church that was bombed where the four little girls were killed.


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